It's not at all uncommon for sports fans to fall victom to superstition. Some fans will where the same outfit, sit in the same seat, or eat the same meal -- or, in my podcast co-host Vinney Zambito's case, not eat at all -- on gameday. Others will rock playoff beards, put on rally caps, or even go as far as refusing to acknowledge when their team is winning until the game eventually goes final.
But what good are superstitions when your team is cursed?
This is the existential question that Houston Texans fans need to ask themselves, because if you search 'Houston Texans curse' on Google, you'll soon find that there isn't just one curse that has played a role in keeping the NFL's youngest franchise from success at the highest level... there are multiple curses that are potentially in play here.
But surely, not all of these curses could be legitimate, right? I mean, what are the chances that a sports franchise has simultaneously been hexed by nine different powerful and vengeful entities? It's not possible, is it?
Well, that's what I'm setting out to discover today. Going from most recent to the longest lasting curses imaginable, I'm going to explore each one of these seven possible curses that are potentially the only reason why the Houston Texans have yet to win a Super Bowl.
What do you say we go on this harrowing expedition together?
The Curse of the ESPN Graphic
It's never a good sign when an entire panel of experts and analysts is making game picks and by the end of the segment, they realize that they've unanimously made a huge mistake by ALL selecting the same team. This is particularly the case when the entire panel is all backing an underdog... that's playing on the road... in bad weather... in the playoffs... in a round they've never, ever, ever won in.
Unfortunately, this is exactly what happened on NFL Live in the days leading up to Houston's Divisional Round matchup with the New England Patriots, when Hannah Storm, Mina Kimes, Ryan Clark, Marcus Spears and Dan Orlovsky ALL picked the Houston Texans to advance to the AFC Championship Game for the first time in franchise history.
Now the unanimous picks curse is not quite the death sentence that the announcer jinx is, but even still, when the graphic couldn't be saved by a single Patriots logo, that was all she wrote for the Texans during the 2025 season.
Chances this curse has played a role in Houston's on-field shortcomings: For all of time, 0%, but for last Sunday's game in New England, at least 85%. You never wanna roll into a game with a unanimous picks graphic weighing you down.
The Curse of the Terrible Towel
Mascot Hall of Fame inductee Toro the Bull made a rookie mistake during the Houston Texans' Wild Card Round win over the Pittsburgh Steelers, tearing one of Pittsburgh's patented Terrible Towels after the Texans took care of business in the Steel City.
Throughout history, there have been countless examples of Steelers opponents making the fatal mistake of diresepecting the most famous rally towel in sports, and nearly every time, it ends up being disaster. Hell, this even extended into the NHL, where Florida Panthers mascot Stanley C. Panther blew his nose into a Terrible Towel during a game against the Pittsburgh Penguins. The Panthers blew a 2-0 lead in the game, got bounced in Round 1 of the Playoffs a couple of months later, and the Penguins won their first of two consecutive Stanley Cups.
I appreciate the fact that Toro repaired the towel he ripped and offered an apology to the Steelers, hopefully ridding Houston of any continued bad juju, but this undeniably played a role in Houston's loss this past Sunday.
Chances this curse has played a role in Houston's on-field shortcomings: For all of time, 0%, but for last Sunday's game in New England, at least 75%. That means, if you're keeping track at home, the Texans had a 160% chance of losing to the Patriots last wekeend.
The Curse Word Curse
According to a study conducted in 2024 which looked at the frequency with which curse words appear on NFL teams' subreddit page, the Houston Texans subreddit was among the most Rated R pages in the National Football League. One could argue that the lack of decorum is bad for the vibes of a team, but you know what? I say f*** that.
I don't think there's anything wrong with cursing, and according to Richard Stevens, a professor at Keele University in the United Kingdom, there are actually psychological benefits to swearing. So who the f*** am I to disagree with the science?
Chances this curse has played a role in Houston's on-field shortcomings: 0.7% chance.
The Curse of Kardashian and Rose
Thanks to Houston Texans fan and UFC Heavyweight contender Derrick Lewis, we have a somewhat fresh entry in the mix that I feel foolish for having overlooked in the past. Back in February 2024, CJ Stroud appeared at a celebrity softball game, and he made waves for the wrong reasons, appearing in photos with both Kim Kardashian and Amber Rose.
Earlier this week, when Lewis was asked what moves he wants to see the Texans make this offseason, this is how the big man responded.
“We gotta see what's going on with CJ," Lewis said. "Ever since he came to the softball game with Amber Rose a few years ago and Kim Kardashian and all that I’m like damn … it might be a curse for him.”
Is it a coincidence that Stroud, who was coming off of a Rookie of the Year campaign, hasn't looked nearly as crisp, confident or in control in his two seasons since then? I think not. And don't we have a large enough body of work at this point that when you find yourself in the stratosphere of a Kardashian, bad news follows. I mean, Kris Humphries, Kanye West, Lamar Odom, OJ Simpson. Do I need to continue?
Chances this curse has played a role in Houston's on-field shortcomings: For CJ Stroud, I'd say it's close to a 90% chance this softball game has played a part in his two-season skid. Frankly, it's amazing that Timothee Chalamet is about to win an Oscar for Marty Supreme.
The Curse of Vanilla Ice
On September 15, 2013, Vanilla Ice performed at halftime of a Houston Texans home game. The Texans won that game, but didn't win again for the remainder of the 2013 season.
If the Houston Texans organization truly wants to try to exorcise all possible demons, they should 100% invite Ice to perform at halftime next season. After all, he did famously rap, 'If there is a problem, yo, I'll solve it.'
Let's make the man put his money where his mouth is.
Chances this curse has played a role in Houston's on-field shortcomings: 19% chance.
The Curse of David Carr and Tony Boselli
When professional football returned to the city of Houston in 2002, the Texans came into the league as an expansion team. Accordingly, the league conducted an expansion draft, and gave the Texans the 1st overall pick in that spring's NFL Draft. With their first pick in the expansion draft, the Texans selected Tony Boselli, a 30-year-old left tackle who had already made five Pro Bowls and had been named an All-Pro three times. With their first pick in the collegiate draft, Houston picked David Carr, a Heisman finalist who former NFL executive and analyst Vinny Cerrato claimed, "has all the things you're looking for in a franchise quarterback."
Texans fans know all too well how these picks played out. Boselli never played a game for the Texans, spending the entire 2002 season on injured reserve before retiring in 2003 due to a shoulder injury. Carr went 22-53 as Houston's starter, and has the dubious distinction of having nearly five times as many sacks (249) as he does touchdown passes (59). Needless to say, not having Tony Boselli protecting his blindside impacted David Carr's growth.
Over the next 24 seasons, the Texans would struggle to find consistent play from the game's most important position, and each time it felt like the Texans were truly getting close, everything went off the rails, whether it be Matt Schaub setting the NFL record with four straight games with a pick six in 2013, Deshaun Watson's holdout and legal troubles, or CJ Stroud getting tangled up in the Kardashian vortex. It just never goes well.
Chances this curse has played a role in Houston's on-field shortcomings: 70% chance, and I'm not even joking. Whether it's a curse or not, there does seem to be a stigma in Houston at the very least.
The Curse of Chuck Noland
I bet y'all didn't see this one coming. Remember the movie Cast Away? Remember how when Chuck Noland escapes from the island and makes his way back to Memphis, Tennessee, he visits his former girlfriend and she mentions that the Houston Oilers moved to Nashville and are now called the Tennessee Titans? This may seem like a throwaway comment, but I believe there's something more sinister at work here. Stay with me:
November 16, 1995 - Houston Oilers owner Bud Adams announced that the team would be moving to Nashville ahead of the 1998 NFL season.
December 24, 1995 - Chuck Noland is forced to depart Christmas Eve dinner in order to handle a productivity issue in Malaysia. He boards a FedEx cargo plane that ends up losing radio contact, going off course and crashing somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. It's assumed that Noland and everyone else on the flight has died, but Noland somehow survives.
Fall 1996 - With word out that the Oilers are leaving Houston, fan support for the team understandably plummets. Only three games attract more than 30,000 fans, and as a result, the Oilers are let out of their lease in Houston one year early, and they play the 1997 season in Memphis... right in Chuck Noland's former backyard.
October 6, 1999 - Energy magnate Bob McNair is announced as the owner of an upcoming expansion franchise that will bring professional football back to Houston. Over the subsequent months, options such as Apollos, Stallions, Bobcats, Wranglers and Toros (!) would be considered as potential team names before Texans eventually becomes the choice.
Sometime in 2000 - Chuck Noland and his best friend Wilson -- a blood-stained volleyball -- attempt to make a daring escape from a remote island in the South Pacific, but unfortunately, Wilson on the mission. However, Noland is found on his raft by a container ship and rescued. When he eventually returns to the states, one of the first things that his former girlfriend feels compelled to tell him is that there's a professional football team in the state of Tennessee.
Later in 2000 - Having found out his former girlfriend has moved on and started dating his former dentist, Noland decides to take a road trip from Tennessee to Texas, where he delivers a package that had symbolically saved his life on the island.
Is it possible that Chuck Noland, who has all-time bad luck -- plane crash, volleyball best friend dies, former girlfriend leaves him for a dentist -- brought some of that bad luck with him from Tennessee to Texas that day, leaving it behind there in the Lone Star State so he could start a new life, free of this curse?
I think it's a no-brainer.
Chances this curse has played a role in Houston's on-field shortcomings: 100%.